Jan. 13, 2022

Overcoming Addiction with Grace and Love

Have you ever thought that you’re not good enough? We’re here to tell you that you are. This episode is about finding hope as we expose our hurts, habits and hang ups with one of Kim’s closest confidants, dear friend, and member of her “sexy six,” Jody Bell.


Have you ever thought that you’re not good enough? We’re here to tell you that you are. This episode is about finding hope as we expose our hurts, habits and hang ups with one of Kim’s closest confidants, dear friend, and member of her “sexy six,” Jody Bell. 

This week Jody joins Kim to talk about her amazing journey of recovery from drug addiction with love and grace. Jody is a vibrant and beautiful reminder that addiction can happen to anyone at any age, and at any stage in life. This one is as honest and real as it gets, y’all. Get ready to change your perspective, and learn how to help someone with an addiction. If you don’t like where you are, then let’s make the decision to change our playground and our playmates together.

 

Make sure to tell a friend about LOL with Kim Gravel!

 

Topics discussed:

·       The slippery slope of drug addiction

·       What life looks like through the eyes of an addict

·       Jody’s treatment to drug addiction

·       How to help someone with an addiction

·       How do we make the decision to change

·       How to deal with temptation

·       Hope and faith on the road to recovery

 

Suicide and Drug Abuse Resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Substance Use Resources for Adolescents and Young Adults

Get Help for Substance Abuse

 

Connect with Kim:

Facebook

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Twitter

TikTok

Website

 

Connect with Jody:

Facebook

 

Check out LOLKim.com for more!

 

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Transcript

*This transcript was auto-generated*

Zac Miller: [00:00:00] Hi, everyone, producer Zac here. I just wanted to let you know that this episode contains references to drug addiction and suicide. So it may not be for every listener. If you're in the U.S. and are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please consider calling the national suicide prevention lifeline at 1 800 273 8255. We're also including drug addiction resources in our show notes this week. So if you need help, please get it. You're not alone. It's also worth noting that we recorded this episode a few months ago before the Omicron surge. You'll hear why I say that in a minute, but now here's Kim who this week decided to give me a hard time about the intro music.

Kim Gravel: Aren't you going to give me a little LOL by Kim Gravel roll in? I can't do it without my roll in. LOL with Kim Gravel and we are here with a new episode. [00:01:00] I love it. Do that again?

Zac Miller: No, I'm not going to do that again. That's it. That's all you get. That's it.

Kim Gravel: You have to do it.

Zac Miller: Nope, I have to do it? You have to go first.

Kim Gravel: Here we are

today with a new episode. Okay. Let's just stick to producing.

Zac Miller: See, that's why I said I wasn't going to do it again.

I felt it the first time. And the second time was forced.

Kim Gravel: No, it was good. It was all good. You're like, I'm not a puppet. I'm not a puppet. Okay. So today I got to tell you I'm so tired. I am tired. Y'all I there's something about getting back together and going to a concert again that is exciting.

Zac Miller: I'm so jealous that you went to a concert Kim.

Kim Gravel: You should, because it was packed. We went down town to the, it was a huge arena. It was the Hawks play there. I mean, it was packed. I mean, it had the smoke, it had the [00:02:00] trumps, it had the lights that had the actual. I am so exhausted. I probably stood up for a solid two hours with like a 20 minute little intermission type thing.

I, when I tell you my back, my knees, so all of you out there who have not been going to live events, and you go to your first event, bring a cushion so that you can sit down because you're staying in that you don't have it anymore. I'm exhausted.

Zac Miller: You're not going out all the time.

You're not traveling anymore or as much. Just don't have that. Yeah.

Kim Gravel: I'm like, did they not just have this on Netflix? I can stream it.

Zac Miller: Right. You just need the couch. It's funny. I really, really want to do that, but I also have to say, I really liked just being on the couch.

Kim Gravel: I hope we don't stay there, but I think it's going to be a long time before, although the place was packed, I can't say nothing about it because it was slammed and it was.

[00:03:00] I saw, Elevation Worship. It was this big worship concert with this pastor that I love. And I took a lot of friends with me, Amy, my BFF, Alison, her husband, Travis. I took my boys, and this wonderful, beautiful guest that we have on today's show. Her name is Jody Bell and her husband came with us and we rocked it.

I mean, my kids were looking at me like. Is she possessed by something because she is just like, I'm like, and I looked down and our guests today, she had the, I love you. Sign like this is, that is that the, I love you sign is that the devil sign which is the devil, the devil sign. Is that the devil sign I thought this was, I love you.

This is the devil sign. Now that's locked horns. Lock them. Anyway,

Zac Miller: This is an audio show, Kim.

Kim Gravel: Okay. Anyway, she was there just jamming out and just getting her praise on. And then she got up today. And Jody Bell, welcome to [00:04:00] LOL with Kim Gravel. Hey girl.

So I look over Zac and she's got a full face of makeup on and I'm thinking, you know what? She got up. We didn't get home until like one o'clock she put on a full face of makeup.

Jody Bell: This is yesterday's makeup.

Kim Gravel: Hey, at least it's not a walk of shame. It's a walk of praise.

Jody Bell: I did change clothes.

Kim Gravel: Do you remember that?

Zac Miller: You're not supposed to bring on the guest and then just immediately throw them under the bus.

Kim Gravel: The great thing is you've had many walks of shame.

Jody Bell: Oh, I have totally have. And I guess we're going to get into that.

Kim Gravel: That's why you're here. That's why we're here. No, it's true. Welcome, Jody. She's my dear friend.

Jody Bell: Thank you. I'm glad to be here.

Kim Gravel: She's part of the family. She's actually Allison's best friend Zac.

Zac Miller: That is so cool.

Kim Gravel: That is so dangerous.

Zac Miller: Obviously, you guys are all hanging [00:05:00] out together all the time. It seems like.

Kim Gravel: Yeah. We call ourselves the Sexy Six. Yes, ma'am. It's my mom, her best friend, Alison, Jody, me and Amy.

And we're the Sexy Six. I think you named us that.

Jody Bell: We're claiming it, claiming it.

Kim Gravel: Well, the sexy broke down 600 for the last night's concert. Jody has such a story, Zac, when we dig into it and I don't know how far we can get into it today. How much time we have, you're going to be shocked.

Okay, so let's just get into it. You haven't told me really very much about this at all. So I am, I'm hearing this cold. Well, Jody's bio is long and extensive, but I'm going to lead with this, Jody. You were a crystal meth addict for how long.

Jody Bell: Seven long years.

Kim Gravel: Wow. You were addicted to crystal meth.

Jody Bell: Yes.[00:06:00]

Kim Gravel: You almost lost your children.

Jody Bell: Lost visitation of my step children for a little while.

Kim Gravel: You were broke, homeless, living out of your wherever you couldn't live. Tell us a little bit how you go from. Jody Bell, this vibrant, beautiful person to a crystal meth addict. At what age did you?

Jody Bell: I didn't use till I was 30 years old.

Kim Gravel: There you go. Zac.

Zac Miller: Wow.

Jody Bell: 30 years old. What started it was I met a boy. Just to backup. I was divorced twice before, had a little girl from my second marriage. It was just her and I, her name's Brooke. She and I were on our own for the first time.

About six [00:07:00] months after that, I met a boy and, um, funny story. I met him at his family's Thanksgiving. His cousin was my best friend at the time, and she invited me to Thanksgiving at their house. And, um, I went and I saw this really hot guy just sitting in the corner. But you could tell, he was like, he just wouldn't make eye contact.

He just had his head down and I was like, well, there's me a project.

Kim Gravel: Listen. Why do women want projects, Jody?

Jody Bell: I have no idea.

Well, I saw him over there and I was like, yeah. And he just kind of like, Hey, and he still wouldn't look up. And I kinda just followed him around all day and we ended up outside talking about how we just got out of relationships that the other person wanted something more.

And we really didn't. And we probably talked on his aunt's swing [00:08:00] outside for about three hours about how we didn't want to be in a relationship. And I finally turned around and I said, Hey, are you going to ask me out? Or what. And he's like, um, I guess, so that night we went to the movies and, uh, he brought me home and never left.

And that was 20 years ago next month. Right. But when I met him, he was an addict and, um, Matt was an addict.

Kim Gravel: Matt was at the praise and worship concert last night, lifting his hands up. And now he's a pastor himself. He is our worship leader. What was Matt doing. Give us the details. All the down and dirty.

Jody Bell: He was doing crystal meth. He was doing cocaine. He was just in a very dark place. He had been through a divorce and he was having a hard time being away from his boys. And, um, he was just living at the bar. And [00:09:00] partying and just numbing himself. And then, um, of course I wanted him to like me because I'm very codependent and that's what codependents do is they want everybody to like him.

Kim Gravel: And you are beautiful part of the sexy six. So he wanted, you know, he saw something too.

Jody Bell: Well, thank you. But I said, you know, if I want to be with him, I'm going to have to do what he's doing. So that's how it started.

Zac Miller: Did he present you with a lot of pressure?

Jody Bell: Not any, not any.

Kim Gravel: So Jody, what does that look like? Cause a lot of people listening are either struggling with something like this or a relative is going through something like this, because I don't know if y'all know this and I'm not trying to make this the drug episode, but this is fentanyl that's really coming on the scene really strong right now.

Jody Bell: Yes. The fentanyl everything's laced with fentanyl that's, what's killing everybody.

Kim Gravel: So I mean, the drug culture is not, it's not all the drug awareness and all the things that we talk and all you giving your testimony and telling everybody your story. It is [00:10:00] just increasing. Tell us from a person who has been an addict, what life looks like through your eyes. During an active addiction, correct?

Jody Bell: Oh, gosh. Um, in the beginning it was fun. You wouldn't do it if it wasn't fun.

Kim Gravel: Okay. What do you mean by fun? What do you mean partying?

Jody Bell: Like we would do it on the weekends. Okay. Go to clubs, stay out all night. Wow. That helps you stay up because you don't sleep for a couple of days, you know, when or several days.

Um, we started on the weekends. Every other weekend, cause we didn't have our kids on the same week. So the weekends we didn't have our kids that we were out partying and doing dope. And then it started to be a little bit more than it was a little bit more like Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

So I guess, you know, and then it just kept getting to where then we needed it to function and then chasing it. Is another full-time job.

Kim Gravel: Like what do you mean by chasing?

Jody Bell: Like you get it, [00:11:00] you get your drugs and then as soon as you get those, you're already having to try to score more. So you don't ever run out because when you're out, that's bad.

Kim Gravel: How was your health? What'd you look like at the time?

Jody Bell: I thought I looked good. However, if you look back at pictures, I just was a bag of. Like bag of bones, just hollow dad. Like you can see straight through my eyes and straight through my soul. Just. And at the end, I was just a zombie because I had got to where I was doing all the uppers during the day, and then had to do all the downers at night to sleep.

And, uh, first, during the day down here as at night, I had no feelings, no anything, no laughter no sadness, no nothing. Just nothing.

Kim Gravel: How do you get out of that? What, how did you, I mean, how did you and Matt both as active [00:12:00] addicts living together?

Jody Bell: It was bad. It went from real good to real bad, real fast. Lots of lies.

Lots of deceit, lots of behind the back stuff. Um, all the stuff that comes along with addiction, I got pregnant.

Kim Gravel: Oh, when you were addicted, you got pregnant.

Jody Bell: Um, yeah, we were on a cruise ship, the whole group of us. And, um, we had not slept for five days. We brought it on the boat with it. And, um, I had a miscarriage on the boat and I was like, well, thank goodness, because I didn't want to be pregnant.

Cause I was too busy partying. So I got home. I still wasn't feeling good. Still wasn't feeling good. I went to the doctor and they called me and they said, well, let us draw some blood and find out what's going on. And then they called me the next day and they're like, congratulations, you're pregnant right after the miscarriage.

It was a twin. I miscarried Josh's his twin [00:13:00] on the boat, but I was still pregnant with Josh. So I had to stop and get clean and I did. And Matt said he would too. And he didn't and that's where everything just where everything went downhill.

Kim Gravel: Okay. So, okay. I have to process this. I've never heard this story and I've known you a long time.

So you were, you were pregnant with twins, miscarried on the cruise ship. One of the babies and, oh my gosh.

Jody Bell: And today Josh is 17 and amazing.

Kim Gravel: Isn't that amazing? Okay. So at this point you get clean. Matt does not correct. Okay. You are still together 20 years. So what happened? Cause I want to give people hope out there for people who are dealing with Russia, for sure.

Jody Bell: He was, he lied and said he would get claimed he was lying the whole time. Um, and uh, [00:14:00] when you're lying, you get lazy and um, make stupid mistakes and he left some of his stuff out. And, uh, we figured out he was lying and still using. And so I tried the whole, well, if you don't quit using I'm going to leave.

And he was like, well, there's the door. Cause he don't care about anything. um, so, and at that point I had to leave. I was really bluffing him, but then when he said there's the door, you know, what was I supposed to do? So me and Brooke packed up and moved back to coming and, um, We split Josh. Josh was only six months old when we split, gosh, split him, um, weekdays and weekends, we can, whatever we could work out with my job and everything.

Kim Gravel: And now this whole time y'all are using, are you holding jobs? So you're functioning.

Jody Bell: Yes. 100%.

Kim Gravel: Are there a lot of people out there functioning 100%? What are you talking [00:15:00] about? Cause you always say this crystal meth is like this just ravages your body. And you've been, you were holding a full-time job and doing drugs 24/7.

Jody Bell: Yes. I have a kid taking care of lots of stuff. At least I thought, yeah. Crystal meth has a way of making you feel like you can do anything. Invincible, invincible. It makes you feel like you look good. It makes you feel good. It makes you feel like you can handle anything. You can do a million things at one time and all that is true, except you start a million things and you never finished one, right?

It's a case of lying to your mind. It's the devil's drug 100% the devil's drug. So, um, so we moved away and, uh, Matt was in, when we left Matt quit, he was able to stop on his own. And we were separated a year, a whole year and I got worse. He stopped and then I left and then I [00:16:00] got back deep in it because I was so depressed and so sad and so lonely you're on the loop.

Yep. And then I was on all kinds of antidepressants on top of everything else, which was just, again, turned me into a complete zombie. Like I was just broken and dead and a. And finally he called me up one day and he said, Hey, do you want to, what are we going to do? It's been a year. You want to stay together or get divorced.

We need to do something. And I said, well, I guess we need to get divorced. And he said, well, right, well, I'll get the papers and take care of it. And we hung up and I just sat there and busted out, crying on my bed, in my little apartment and coming and I called him back. I said, can I change my mind? He said, yeah.

So we. Got us back home told me everything I wanted to hear and said all the right things. And it just got, it was even worse than because I came back and I was still using and he was angry and it was just a very volatile household.

Kim Gravel: How long [00:17:00] Jody, from when you started using to when you both stopped, how many years had passed?

Jody Bell: When we both stopped slightly seven.

Kim Gravel: So both of you or one of you were actively participating in drug abuse for seven years?

Jody Bell: Yes.

Kim Gravel: Of your entire marriage.

Jody Bell: Yes.

Kim Gravel: What switch was flipped for both of you to get clean?

Jody Bell: For me, I had just got to a point where I hated myself. I wouldn't look in the mirror.

I had let my hair grow out long and just pulled it up in a ponytail because I wouldn't look in the mirror. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. So I just pulled my hair up in a ponytail everyday and went like, I couldn't even look myself in the face. And then it, because I was just embarrassed and ashamed of who I had become, and I.

It felt like everybody hated me and they'd be better off without me. [00:18:00] So I, um, attempted suicide. Um, I just felt like this world would be better place without me in it, at that place in my life. So I attempted a suicide by overdose and it didn't work. I tried it again the next day and it didn't work. Three days in a row.

Um, wow. And there was no reason that I shouldn't be dead from what I was ingesting. So the third time after it didn't work, I went to Matt. And again, remember we hate each other at this point hate, and I said, um, I need you to hide your guns because I need help. And I'm scared and I'm lost.

And I just want to leave this place and. I went and got the phone book and open it up. And the first place under, um, addiction help or whatever, it was a place called Avita in Gainesville. And I [00:19:00] called them and they said, come on down girl. And he took me and dropped me off. And, uh, that began my road to recovery.

Kim Gravel: And you've been clean. You and Matt both have been clean. How many years?

Jody Bell: June was 12 years.

Kim Gravel: Okay. So anybody that's listening Jody to your story? They're saying, oh, I can't relate to that. You know, I, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Everybody can relate to somewhere in your story, that heartache that I don't want to be here anymore.

What do you say to those that are, that are listening, that are dealing with that with even themselves or, or people that they know and love?

Jody Bell: I would say that really, for me, it was a place of just fear and darkness. And it was more, I say that I wanted them. I, that they would be better off without me, but really it was me.

Kim Gravel: But what would you say to those people that are going through that.

Jody Bell: I would [00:20:00] say just hold on because look at all I would have missed out on, right. I have four beautiful girl and children. Two of them are married. One of them is getting married in December. The third one. Um, I have a beautiful grand baby.

Natalie May, I would have missed out on all of that. I have a beautiful new home. We just moved into.

Kim Gravel: And you're a chicken farmer.

Jody Bell: I am a chicken farmer. Chicken farmer, baby.

Kim Gravel: That's a nice little surprise. She's a chicken farmer.

Zac Miller: I was not prepared for chicken farmer.

Kim Gravel: The most beautiful thing about Jody is that I met Jody way before. Alison was, she was my sister's best friend. We traveled around and saying, and, and I remember you coming up telling me your story. And I was just like, I had never met someone that had [00:21:00] been addicted. And you were.

Jody Bell: I was 90 days clean.

 I had just got baptized and rededicated.

Kim Gravel: Do you remember our conversation? Cause I just remember. No way you were a drug addict. I just remember looking at you going, I just couldn't believe what you were telling me. Yeah. Cause you know, do you remember our conversation? Can you tell it?

Jody Bell: I just remember coming up and, you know, just kind of telling you, Hey, thank you. 90 days, clean, just three dedicated. Um, this has been just wonderful for me and y'all just were kind of dumbfounded.

Kim Gravel: I couldn't believe it.

Zac Miller: Did you meet at church? Was this a church?

Jody Bell: It was a ladies retreat.

Is that when

Zac Miller: you were running your women's retreat?

Jody Bell: It was a beloved retreart. I remember vividly. And then years later I, uh, judged the pageant with Alison and I said, well, I know your sister. And [00:22:00] last thing she said, she went out and called you on her break. And I said, I said, but she won't remember me.

Kim Gravel: I remember you. I'll never forget you.

Jody Bell: And she's like, girl. She said, I love Jody.

Kim Gravel: Well, this is what I love about Jody. And everybody listening and Zac, even, even you too, I want you to chime in. You know, everybody loves these powerful stories of this redemption that happens. But, and it is God. And, but like you said, but for God, but there comes a point in, in your life where you have to make a decision.

We heard that last night, you have to make a decision and you have to decide whatever it is, the drugs. Eating. How you talk to yourself. Jody, how many times did you look in the mirror and go, I hate myself. You said you couldn't even look in the mirror.

Jody Bell: Every day in my life.

Kim Gravel: I know girl, I have found myself doing that as of late, over the last two years.

I'm like, I'm not good enough for this.

Jody Bell: That's [00:23:00] the devil line to you. Isn't not a lie. 100%.

Kim Gravel: What I'm saying is you, ain't got to be on drugs for that mess to happen. So people, you know what I'm saying, Zac.

Zac Miller: I feel that way a lot more than I care to admit.

Kim Gravel: I think all of us do. And in like in, in the, in the reason Jody, I can't, I'm not, I'm asking you this question was the reason that you're talking to yourself this way.

You can't just blame it on the drugs. Can you?

Jody Bell: No, no. It's a choice.

Kim Gravel: It's a choice. It's a decision. It's a choice. Like you said, it's a decision. Can I ask you something now? Cause you know, I'll forget if I don't ask you the hopelessness that you felt. And then a lot of people that I've talked to that are dealing with drug addiction or have family members, how do you get past that, Jody?

How do you give people hope in the fact that you're like, are they ever going to quit? You know what I'm saying? Like, it's [00:24:00] this wait and wait. And what, how do you keep the hope?

Jody Bell: Just holding onto Jesus. There is no other answer. Um, yes, treatment helps, rehabs help.

They give you the tools you need to stay clean. Nobody can make an addict clean, but the addict, nobody can help the addict. But the addict family members that have never been through addiction, they don't understand that they want to fix it. What can we do to fix it? They'll throw money at it. You know, all kinds of just hear, listen to new treatment.

Let's do this. That it's not always the answer treatment is wonderful. It's but I know. Don't don't say, I know hunters, the people that went to treatment. And just because I want to do a appease a family member say the right things, do the right things. Be clean for a minute, come back out, go right back out.

Kim Gravel: How do we [00:25:00] make the decision, that little decision to change? How did you do it? Like, do you remember that moment where you said I'm done?

Jody Bell: It was that moment of when that last attempt was unsuccessful. And I knew that I was not going to be leaving this world, but I could not continue to live the way you were.

The very bottom I was at. I was under the bottom. Like I was shaking those gates down at hell. You wouldn't let me and nobody else is going to want me, can I come in. It's the darkest in scariest and most horrible place I've ever been in my life.

Kim Gravel: All right. Flip side, 12 years later, 12 years later. Does anything scare you anymore?

Jody Bell: Oh yeah. Yeah.

Kim Gravel: Are you ever scared I could go back?

Jody Bell: Yeah. I mean, relapses one bad decision. Every addict is one bad decision away from relapse and the longer you're in recovery. [00:26:00] And then you go back. You could probably die that first time because you go back in thinking you can handle what you were doing when you quit.

But if you think about it, you had seasoned years. I had seasoned myself seven years of using you had tolerance. Yeah. If I was to go back today.

Kim Gravel: And are you ever tempted?

Jody Bell: No. However, I don't know that if it wasn't in front of. I just can't be around it. And that's just me being honest.

Kim Gravel: Have you seen it since then?

Jody Bell: No, only on TV and it makes me sick. I have to turn the channel because you're not one to watch the intervention stories and the addicted stories and all those shows because some of them do have good endings, but they filmed them using and that's very hard.

Kim Gravel: What would you say to young people that are struggling with this [00:27:00] temptation? That is so prevalent and it is so bad. It's bad.

Jody Bell: It is so bad. Um, I just want to strangle them.

Kim Gravel: Only Jody can take something so seriously. God just want to kick in your heinie. Now it's the truth. I just want to strangle them.

Jody Bell: I just want to shake him and be like, you're ruining your life. You're killing your family members. It doesn't, addiction is not just the addicts deal, it is everybody in their life.

But as the addict, you're so selfish, you don't care how it affects anybody. You're not in your right mind. Right. You're not in your right mind because drugs addicts don't use drugs for the drugs. Addicts use drugs because they're numbing from something else in their life. That's the big thing. And there's a lot of people out there now I numb with sugar and food, like ding dongs and hohos and [00:28:00] cupcakes.

And some people do it with shopping and some people do it with gambling and some people do it with pornography. And you know what? Celebrate recovery is all about. It's a place for people with all hurts habits and hangups.

Kim Gravel: Oh, say that again.

Jody Bell: All hurts habits and hangups. Jesus can fix it. He can. And, and making that small decision for yourself.

Kim Gravel: Yeah. I think that's the key at the end. It's like, you've got to decide.

Jody Bell: It's a surrender.

Kim Gravel: It's a surrender. You got to decide.

Jody Bell: And it was scary as hell. You go from a life that you've known for seven years, the same people, the same places, the same routine. To starting over to the unknown.

Zac Miller: Cause you have to change everything.

Jody Bell: Everything. Yeah. Then they say in recovery, first thing, change your playmates and your playground.

Kim Gravel: Let's just say that a lot of people, we all, I need to do that right now. I'm going through something right now. You know, I'm going through change my [00:29:00] playmates and my playgrounds, Zac,.

Zac Miller: Some of your playmates are okay though.

Kim Gravel: Y'all are fabulous.

But your day to day where you spend that time the most. You know what, let me say this too, because this is exactly where I was wanting to go with with, with today is. Go where you're loved and wanted. Come on, go where your love and wanted.

We try so hard to fit in. We could be the square peg trying to fit in this round hole. We've oh, my mom texted me that this morning you go where you're celebrated 100% and that's what's happening. I truly believe like drug addicts, all the addicts, all of us have got our hands. What is it? Hurts habits and hang out.

We've all got them. And, and we're trying to be accepted and loved and validated. We who are, you have no business being, come on, come [00:30:00] on. Am I right?

Jody Bell: You are so right.

Zac Miller: Why do you think we're forcing that Kim?

Kim Gravel: I think there's something about us and I'm gonna make it real simple and it could be wrong again.

I'm not a psychologist. That's thinks why doesn't that person like me? Why don't I fit in there? I think it's hurtful. It's hurtful. The cool kids. You can't sit with that slot, right? You can't sit with us and we'll tell y'all bullies have all ages. Yeah. But I don't think it's, I think we've got to start saying I'm gonna make a decision.

I'm gonna change my playground. I'm a playmates. Because there's comfort in that drug family, there was comfort in that drug family always depend on. You felt like you fit because there was somebody else as broken as me. Somebody else is hurt as me, somebody else as bad [00:31:00] as me as horrible as me.

Yeah. This is this. This is something really, really, so everybody's walking around with this veiled sense of insecurity. Some people are faking it. Not some people, most people. That's what I love about you. You never fake it. You will tell, you will walk up to the Pope is like, look, I'm a drug addict and you just tell them, you wear it almost like a badge of warning to other people.

That's what I love about you. You don't just take your mess. You really make it a message.

Jody Bell: Well, I feel like, you know that God didn't let me die when I had. You know, just like the message last night, you know, so thankful Jesus stepped into my boat when he didn't have to, but he did. And, um, it's been a horrible, beautiful.

I'm [00:32:00] so thankful I'm here today to tell about it. If I can give one person, one person, little bit of hope with my story it's worth it to me. I don't care if people gossip about me. I don't care if people talk about me being trashed and a drug addict and this and that, because guess what? There is nothing that they can say behind my back, because I have told everything, this is God's work.

I'm God's story. I'm God's child. And he, he spared me and, um, I feel like the least. The least I could do is tell of what he did in me to give others hope. I was a woman working at a job, making over $50,000 a year as a functioning meth addict, it can happen to anybody, but for the grace of God.

Kim Gravel: What's your last words.[00:33:00]

Jody Bell: Jesus loves you. You can never run too far. You can never be too far gone. His hand is right there. We don't leave or he doesn't leave us. We leave him and then he'll still come and find us. Just keep holding on. There are better days. You don't have to live that way. You don't have to live that way.

Kim Gravel: And you're not talking just to drug addicts.

You're talking to people who are just astounding, who just feel like what's the point, especially like,

Jody Bell: I can't imagine if I was still in active addiction over these past two years.

Kim Gravel: Oh God. Right with COVID. Yeah, she was really sensitive to that. I remember I was having that conversation like people, we're locked up going, what do I do?

Jody Bell: Yeah. Right. That isolation and the darkness, um, and loneliness is hard. It's hard. [00:34:00] So I couldn't imagine being in that head space on top of, on top of that. Well, I'm here to tell you it's it's. It's one little decision away from making a change and you're worth it. You're worthy. I don't care what anybody you're not trash.

Kim Gravel: I said that on QVC, my very first show. I said, God, don't make no junk. And I can't tell you how many people just responded responded.

Jody Bell: We put those labels on ourselves. We do this, the insecurity and the bullies and the meanies. We just listened to the wrong people.

They broke into they're hurting too in that truth. That's why, they're the way they are.

Kim Gravel: People hurt people. People want everybody else to be as just as miserable them. They can't stand to see somebody could succeed or be happy or have peace or joy [00:35:00] because they don't have it.

Jody Bell: My heart hurts for them and right. We're all human, all humans doing the best we can.

Kim Gravel: What is the one thing that you're grateful for from being an addict?

Jody Bell: I've really learned a lot about myself and who I was that I didn't know before that caused me to become an addict. Right. I learned all that about myself in recovery.

Kim Gravel: Are you okay with it?

Jody Bell: Oh yeah. Yeah. It explains a lot.

Kim Gravel: What advice would you give to someone who is close to an addict right now?

Jody Bell: You can't fix them,

Kim Gravel: We're going to do something really fun. Okay. Jody is what I like to call salty[00:36:00]

So she loves Jesus. She, you know, she's a worship leader's wife, but she is . Yeah, but she is salty. Okay. So I'm going to do rapid fire questions. Some of these will not be appropriate, but appropriate for a recovering drug addict. What is your favorite food?

Jody Bell: Jambalaya. Okay. That's good.

Kim Gravel: And this girl could cook too. Don't let me talk about her bacon. Okay. Who's your favorite celebrity crush?

Jody Bell: Jack Nicholson.

Kim Gravel: Oh, my God. I'm like why Jack Nicholson.

Jody Bell: He's just a dirty old man. And there is something about those eyebrows and those Ray-Bans thing.

Kim Gravel: I've asked you this three times and your same questions, Jack Nicholson.

You've never faltered from that

Zac Miller: How old is he now?

Kim Gravel: [00:37:00] 7,000, 20,000 years old. All right. Cause you heard it. She says he's a dirty old man. She's salty. Here we go. We going to get deep with it. All right. What was the last book you read?

Well, that's your answer?

Zac Miller: You got to make up something so you sound really smart. You got to be like, oh yeah.

Kim Gravel: If they don't have it on book on tape, they'll make a movie later. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. What is your funniest story you can share about Alison.

Jody Bell: There's a million, but this one wins by a long shot. A few years ago we were, sometimes we go around to like national pageants and do worship services on their Sunday morning.

Before the pageant starts and she sings in, I speak and we went [00:38:00] to this pageant down in Newnan. I think it was. And I had to MC a different pageant the day before, and we were going to drive to Newnan after that evening and get up and do worship. And so I told Alison, you know, be ready, I'll pick you up.

Cause you know, Newnan is still another couple hours. So I left Babeland General in Cleveland, where I was MCing and drove all the way to Loganville to pick her whole time. I'm like, make sure you pack, make sure you're ready. You know, we got a long way to go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I got it.

I got it. I got it. I'm be ready. And then when I left, I called her and like, I'm on my way. Are you ready? Oh, I'm at the nail place. I'll be home by the time you get there.So I get there. No, Alison, she comes in about 30 minutes later. Kick her butt has not packed yet.

Kim Gravel: I honest to God that's so her, Zac, I can't stand her right now.

Just think about it. I'm [00:39:00] on fire.

Jody Bell: Has not packed yet. Here we are at like 7:30 already. She's packing. Finally get on the road, get down there. And then we're trying to find something to eat. Nothing's open. Finally, get something to eat, get to the hotel at like, you know, in the pageant directors are putting us up at a hotel, which was very nice.

We finally got there. I bet it was like 11:30. By the time we got the hotel, one king bed, fine, whatever. I'm so tired. I don't care. Get in the bed, go to turn the lights off. Okay, but I got to learn this song I'm singing in the morning. She said yeah I got to learn this song. So, and so she's in the same bed with me next to me saying singing this song that she knew two months ago, that she was supposed to sing.

Kim Gravel: What's one word you would use to describe Alison one word. [00:40:00]

Jody Bell: Oh God. I love her though

Kim Gravel: But you said though, so you know what I'm saying?

Jody Bell: You are saying the truth. She's out there.

Kim Gravel: This is the last question for you. What is your favorite curse word? Cause I know you got several.

Jody Bell: Oh, gosh, um, it's going to have to be s***. Cause we all full of it.

Kim Gravel: Thank you Jody, for being on.

Jody Bell: I love you so much. Thank you.

Zac Miller: Thanks Jody. Nice to meet you.

Kim Gravel: She's a chicken farmer. I'm just saying she deals with a lot of

If you love the show, make sure to follow LOL with Kim Gravel in your favorite podcast app. [00:41:00] New episodes come out every Thursday. LOL with Kim Gravel is produced and edited by Zac Miller at Uncommon Audio. Theme music by Taco Pella, head to lolkim.com for more information, and to join our mailing list.

Thanks for listening.